Translated from the Hindi by Shubham Mamgain
When have I Asked that Someone Walk with Me
When have I asked that
Someone walk with me?
Desired, yes.
Often I have had
Shoes tailored for the trees
Only to keep standing beside them
They showed off their greenery
Their flowers
Their birds kept them occupied
I moved on
Unlike them
I failed to turn my feet
into roots
Despite knowing well
That to keep pressing onwards
is to keep losing something
and to become lonelier
I have now arrived at a point
Where trees cast
long shadows around me
For some company?
Because of the setting sun?
I can't say,
I have to press further on.
Someone walk with me
When have I asked that?
Desired, yes.
Living with You
Living with you
I have often felt
That directions have folded,
Every road has become short,
The world has pulled up its knees
And become balcony-like
Which is crowded to the fullest,
Isolation is nowhere to be found
Neither outside nor within.
The shape of all things has reduced,
Trees now stand so low
That I can pat their heads
And bless them,
Sky hits against my chest,
When needed, I can hide my face in the clouds.
Living with you
I have often felt
That everything means the same thing,
Be it the waving of the grass,
The wind coming through the window,
Or sunlight climbing a wall
To disappear on the other side.
Living with you
It has often occurred to me
That we are surrounded
Not by inabilities but by possibilities,
A door can be carved into any wall
And an entire mountain
Can push through any door.
If strength is limited
Everything is powerless as well,
If arms can fall short
The ocean too is confined,
Ability is just another name for desire.
The land between life and death
Is not fate’s. It belongs to me.
Having Parted from you
Having parted from you I feel
Suddenly my wings have shrunk
And I keep falling
Into a limitless sea below.
No journey exists now,
Neither meaningful nor meaningless;
There is no difference between flying and falling.
Having parted from you
The instinct to look for something in everything
The desire to find something in everything
Kept growing weaker
Entire existence is spread out like railway tracks
Every moment is thundering away.
Having parted from you
Even the grass blades look so big
That I keep running headfirst
Into their roots,
Rivers are strings of cotton
I keep tripping over them,
The sky has turned inside-out
Moons and stars are nowhere to be seen,
I no longer live on the earth, instead somewhere inside
I am crawling with its weight on my head.
Having parted from you I feel
Nothing else exists besides shapes,
Everything collides
And leaves without a hurt.
Having parted from you I feel
I am spinning so wildly
That everything appears to me
Without form and colour
And I appear to everything
Formless and colourless as well,
In a circle of spots,
I exist stain-like,
I am endless
And will remain so.
There is nothing to wait for
Not even death.
By and by
Next to brimful bottles
I have been put away
Like an empty glass
By and by darkness will come
And, stumbling,
Sit next to me.
It won’t say anything
Only fill me
Empty me,
Over and over
Pour me in and out,
And in the end
Leave me next to empty bottles
Like an empty glass.
Friends!
You don’t know death
Be it man’s
Or a nation’s
Be it time’s
Or a fashion’s.
Everything happens by and by
By and by, bottles are uncorked
Glasses filled,
Yes, only by and by
The soul is drained
A person dies.
What do I do with this nation
That, stumbling, by and by
Has come to sit next to me.
Friends!
You don’t know death
By and by everything
Is devoured by darkness,
Then nothing happens
Because nothing remains
All is left like an empty glass
Next to empty bottles—
A nation next to a flag
A person next to a name
Time next to Love
Fashion next to the price
All is left
Next to empty bottles
Like an empty glass
‘By and by’—
I have absolute disdain
For this phrase.
Only by and by does mite show up
Grain expires,
Only by and by does termite lick everything off
Courage gives in to fear.
Only by and by does faith disappear
Resolve retires.
Friends!
What do I do with the nation
That is growing emptier
By and by
Left next to filled bottles
Like an empty glass.
By and by
I no longer want to find God
By and by
I no longer seek heavenly abode
By and by
Nothing remains that I approve of
Be it hatred, be it love.
Friends!
Nothing happens by and by
Only death happens,
Nothing arrives by and by
Only death arrives,
Nothing is found by and by
Only death is found,
Death—
An empty glass
Next to empty bottles.
Listen,
The beating of the drum is waning
By and by the march of revolution
Is turning into a funeral procession.
The rot is spreading—
On the nation’s map
And in the eyes of love
The borders are getting blurred
And we are looking on, like rats.
Sarveshwar Dayal Saxena (1927–1983) was a Hindi writer, poet, columnist and playwright. He was one of the seven poets who first published in one of the “Tar Saptaks,” which ushered in the ‘Prayogvaad’ (Experimentalism) era, which in time evolved to become the “Nayi Kavita” (New Poetry) movement.
Shubham Mamgain’s work has previously appeared (including under the pseudonym M.S. Alphonze) in nether Quarterly, gulmohur quarterly, Qissa the magazine, The Alipore Post, and Reading Room Co. In 2022, he was one of the ten recipients of the Dr. Anamika Prize for GenZ Poets. He lives in Dehradun.